How to Release Emotional Patterns That Sabotage Your Well-Being (and Reclaim Your Vital Energy)

Gosia Wojciulewicz
Aug 25
2 min read

Updated: Sep 2

It was just a regular Tuesday evening in my kitchen.

No big drama, nothing “wrong” and still, I felt it. My shoulders were tight, my chest heavy, and my mind wouldn’t stop racing through all the shoulds and musts.

In that quiet moment, it hit me: the real weight I was carrying wasn’t my job, or even my never ending to do list. It was the old emotional patterns I’d been repeating for years — ones I never even chose, but that somehow ended up running my life.

The moment I learnt how to release them, everything began to shift.

What Are Emotional Patterns (and Why They Run Your Life)

Emotional patterns are not random. they’re automatic responses your mind and body learned long ago to keep you safe. Psychology and neuroscience show that when we face repeated stress or pain, the nervous system creates shortcuts to protect us. Over time, those shortcuts turn into habits that play out almost without us noticing.

Most of them begin in childhood. They form in moments when we feel unseen, criticised, abandoned, or pressured to be perfect. Even if those moments are long behind us, the body still remembers — and it keeps reacting as if the old danger is still here.

For example:

Saying yes when you mean no, out of fear of rejection.
Overworking because rest feels “unearned.”
Avoiding new opportunities to protect yourself from failure.

These patterns once served a purpose. They helped you survive, fit in, or feel safer. But today, they can quietly drain your energy, shape your relationships, and erode your sense of self-worth.

How Emotional Patterns Drain Your Vital Energy

When you’re trapped in these cycles, your nervous system stays in survival mode.This low-level stress response keeps your shoulders tight, your breathing shallow, and your mind hyper-alert.

Over time, you might notice:

Chronic fatigue despite sleeping enough
Difficulty focusing or feeling present
Loss of joy in things you once loved

It’s not weakness — it’s biology. Your body is simply burning too much energy trying to keep you “safe.”

First Steps to Release Emotional Patterns

1. Pause Before Reacting:

When you notice a trigger, take three slow, steady breaths. This short pause calms your nervous system and creates space between the old automatic reaction and a new conscious choice.

2. Name the Pattern:

Call it out in the moment: “This is my perfectionism talking” or “This is my fear of being left out.” Neuroscience shows that labelling emotions reduces their intensity — it gives your brain a sense of clarity and control.

3. Ask What You Really Need:

Behind every pattern is an unmet need. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe reassurance. Maybe just a moment of stillness. By tuning into that need, you shift from repeating the past to actually responding to the present.

The Deeper Work: Reprogramming Your Inner World

Releasing emotional patterns isn’t about forced positivity.It’s about rewiring your subconscious and calming your nervous system so it feels safe to live differently.

Inside my Transform Your Life Programme, we work together to: